Today is Babywise Friendly Network Day! We are all writing on the topic of marriage. Please see below for a full list of links!
Now that I am a parent, my perspective of my marriage has changed a bit. And really, I shouldn't say changed, so much as was put into a new focus. Caroline is going to learn from watching our marriage. She's going to learn about relationships, and without even knowing it, she'll start setting her expectations of her future relationships based on the example we set. I know, I know...she's 2. But here's the thing...she's already showing us her view of our relationship in her pretend play! And it's fascinating!
When I think about what I want Caroline observe in our marriage, a few things come to mind:
Affection: I want her to see Daddy and I kiss and hug. I want her to see us holding hands. I want her to notice his arm around me, and the way we hold hands in the car. I want her to notice all the subtle ways we show each other affection.
Respect: I want her to notice the respect we show one another. I want her to notice that we still take the time to be polite to one another. I want her to notice the respect we have for one another when we are talking with friends and family.
Roles/Helping each other: I want her to notice that we don't stick to our "gender roles"- Daddy can cook and clean, and Mama can help fix things. I want her to notice that we help each other. We both make an effort to go out of our way to do things for the other person.
Team: I want her to notice that we are a team. I want her to notice that we make decisions together. I want her to notice that we enjoy doing things together, and doing things for the other person. I want her to notice that we are on the same page.
Communication: I want her to notice that we communicate in a respectful manner. I want her to notice that we agree on so many things. I want her to notice that we disagree. I want her to notice that we resolve conflict through our communication. I want her to notice how we make decisions together.
Imperfect: I want her to notice that we are imperfect. I want her to notice that we are real.
Happiness: I want her to notice laughter. I want her to notice the happiness that our marriage brings us.
Family: Perhaps above all else, I want her to notice that our marriage made us a family. Our commitment to one another is the foundation of our family. I want her to notice that we put family first. And, I want her to notice the love in our family- the love that started with two people, and grew more than we could ever imagine.
I want her to notice.
Babywise Friendly Blog Network Day
5 Ways to Get Out of Marriage Valley by Emily Parker
How to Divide Responsibilities in a Marriage by Valerie Plowman
Communication and Grace: Two Keys to Building Up
Your Marriage in Times of Stress by Kimberly Cartwright
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